@MoneypennyNaked: Well, well, well if it isn't the 5 lbs I thought I lost.
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@Brampersandon_: WAITER: Would you like the usual, Mr Smith? MR SMITH: *all smugly* Do birds fly? *Penguin at the next table slams down his menu*
@MourningGlory_: Saw some girl pull up to her mailbox, open her door & then fall entirely out of her car while reaching for the mail. JK It was me.
@LerbsyCherbs: I walk with a limp so people think I have a gun in my boot. And because I sprained my ankle running away from a moth.
@GibJimson: The new guy at work has been getting a lot of customer complaints lately. Probably because I wear his name tag when he's not there.