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@Dawn_M_: WELL WELL WELL, if it isn't the lady who's baby I stole.
@better_off_dad: 'The cat is up on your counters again.'
~The monster under my bed.
@TheMichaelRock: We're shutdown, but not 'stop collecting taxes' shutdown.
- the government
@DancesWithTamis: "Hola! I'm Señor Coconut, children"
[cracks head on the pavement. Children scream]
"Drink me. Drink me. I'm full of vitamins and minerals"
@pradogod: She puts the hot in psychotic
@thatUPSdude: If you're buying your pregnancy test at the dollar store it's probably because he bought is his condoms there too.