@jordan_stratton: Well, when we ordered nachos, you ate all the ones in the middle with the most cheese, but no... I have no idea who set your car on fire.
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@Midgetspar: Teleportation seems like an awesome idea until Creepy Stan from down the street is suddenly washing your back in the shower.
@mejustbeth: Thought I was having a good hair day. Mother Nature likes to keep my ego in check though. She's really good at that.
@shadygrenade: Obama: Get Air Force One ready. Biden: OK! *runs off* Obama: The plane, not the movie. *Biden does 360* Biden: Yeah I know.