@Smooheed: Went for a run and now I have to find a way to trade my body in for scrap
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@WildeThingy: [revenge plan] *invent miniaturisation machine. *shrink to tiny size. *crawl all over sleeping spider's face.
@tchrquotes: Me: I ate all the chips. Wife: What!? For the boys' lunches!? Well, at least we still have cheeze its. Me: You're not going to believe this
@michaelianblack: Common courtesy: don't bring McDonalds French fries on the plane unless you bring enough for everybody.