@SonOfCha: Went into a massage parlor & asked for the happy ending, now I'm tucked into bed with a Korean woman reading me Cinderella.
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@ChipKellysBalls: House is a mess ... Walked in the other day and there were 2 people on the couch blindfolded and filming a Fabreeze commercial
@fuzzlime: sometimes when I finish eating a bag of microwave popcorn I try to eat a couple unpopped kernels just to convince myself it's really over
@Book_Krazy: Me: *showing the priest a gif of a dog chasing his tail* Haha it's like he never stops Priest: Ok but I said "Bring the GIFTS to the alter"