@SonOfCha: Went into a massage parlor & asked for the happy ending, now I'm tucked into bed with a Korean woman reading me Cinderella.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@VeryLonelyLuke: Me: If you want to be a Jedi, you have to follow strict rules. Rey: Like what? Me: Don't hook up with anyone. They might be related.
@politicalmath: I hate hipsters. Their smug faces, vegan diet, tiny feet & sawdust bedding. No wait. Hamsters. I hate hamsters.
@isabelzawtun: Gary Numan is 13 days older than Gary Oldman. I don't even know what to believe any more
@moose_chocolate: "Sobbing" autocorrected to "throbbing" and now my attempt at showing my sensitive side has taken a very different direction.