@SonOfCha: Went into a massage parlor & asked for the happy ending, now I'm tucked into bed with a Korean woman reading me Cinderella.
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@Donna_McCoy: Rules for a happy marriage: 3. Separate bank accounts 2. Separate data plans 1. Separate bathrooms
@squirrel74wkgn: Sorry honey, I didn't get you anything for Valentine's Day. Wife: It's not until next week... [one week later] Sorry honey, I didn't...
@_debbii3e: First date questions 1) are you married? 2) is someone married to you? 3) are you married without your knowledge? 4) is there someone that you’re attached to in a married way?