@ScottLinnen: Went on ChristianMingle .com and kept asking myself, "Who Would Jesus Do"?
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@tackie_jackie: Just gave my husband a 3 dozen box of condoms. He laughed and called it a life time supply. I laughed and called him optimistic.
@arandomhim: I bet the guy who invented the percent symbol, %, got his inspiration from watching his wife put on a seatbelt
@NicestHippo: DETECTIVE: There are signs of a struggle here [earlier that morning] ME: *trying to get up for work*