@Dutch_50: Went to the Planetarium to do some stargazing but I didn't see one celebrity. Rip-off!
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@decentbirthday: Buddha: all life is suffering Me: alright dude, chill out. they said your food would be out in ten minutes
@dinnersruined: I made a barista at Starbucks cry when I put my name down as "Dad" and he just stood there calling it over and over
@TheIronSherk: Welcome to ghosts anonymous. Nice to see such a spirited turnout. *all of the ghosts boo in unison*
@Sickayduh: Wife: Have u done anything today? Me: Rode my bike on the back tire down the street Wife: Wheelie? Me: Yes, really, and cut the baby talk