@Dutch_50: Went to the Planetarium to do some stargazing but I didn't see one celebrity. Rip-off!
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@TravLeBlanc: I wanna write a tweet that is so good that I can retire and just live off the retweets for the rest of my life.
@Michael1979: Therapist: Your relationships fail due to your selfishness *I slip him a twenty* T: They fail because you're great & everyone else is awful