@FirstDateStory: "Went to watch a movie, I was wearing shorts and he swiped his finger on my leg. Later found out he wiped his booger on me"
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@aveuaskew: Today I learned not all people are appreciative of vetriloquism. Especially my gynecologist.
@jen_says_nah: If you love something set it free, if it stays its yours Go on then pizza, leave! Get outta here..... *pizza stays *happy tears
@Jay_FrickinLynn: I accidently opened the fitness app and my phone immediately called to report itself stolen.
@KKBowls: I just saw a spider on the wall, I went to hit it -- it just fell and ran away. I was all, 'Oh my God, he knows what I look like.'