@Nomyzie: We're all equal. But I'm more equal than you.
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@gojarbe: [gun goes off] [every runner pretends to be wounded, then laughs and starts the race] ANNOUNCER: and the annual Dad 5k is underway
@_ElvishPresley_: [commercial for boiling water] *enemies at castle wall are splashed with cool refreshing water* castle guard: there must be a better way!
@Cheeseboy22: The teachers could tell my wife & I were embarrassed by our son's grades when we showed up to conferences with paper bags on our heads.