@itsa_talia: we're going to have a president named jeb. president jeb.
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@mortimermaiden: I'm a gentleman, so I when I see a woman about to open a door, I sprint up and tackle her back, so a man can open it for her.
@ElleOhHell: Many English names are derived from occupations, like Fletcher (arrow maker), Cooper (barrel maker), or Cunningham (tricky pig).
@Sickayduh: I tried to kill a spider by drowning it in douche and now it keeps picking fights with me on social media
@aidanjsears: ALEX TREBEK: it says here that you are on jeopardy ME: correct AT: this can't be your fun fact ME: *whispers* i don't have anything else ok