@Nikkeya08: We're just two people shitting in side by side stalls waiting for the other person to go out so we don't have to show our face
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@PajamaStew: If human civilization had a narrator it would just be some guy repeating "Little did they know..." over and over and over.
@jus4golf: Last night I got so drunk I spent an hour apologizing to a tree for saying it's bark was worse than it's bite.
@emmkaff: Scientists: Don't freak out about Ebola. Everyone: *Panic!* Scientists: Freak out about climate change. Everyone: LOL! Pass me some coal.