@ChaseMit: "We're not so different, you and I," Mitt Romney said to a stack of white printer paper.
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@badbanana: People overlook Dracula's positive attributes. In his bat form, he eats mosquitoes and other unwanted backyard insects.
@TribalSpaceCat: Once I saved 10 kittens from a burning building and yes all the people died but look how cute they are
@ArfMeasures: ME: Jesus Christ, this is the slowest train I've ever travelled on BRIDE: Someone please get this prick off my dress