@ChaseMit: "We're not so different, you and I," Mitt Romney said to a stack of white printer paper.
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@bigmacher: Please retweet my son, it would mean a lot to him, apparently his mother's love isn't enough for him. #IfYourMomWroteYourTwitterBio
@daemonic3: [date] HER: Any hobbies? ME: I collect old comics HER: Oh! Like 1st editions? ME: [flashback to Billy Crystal tied up in basement] Sure
@chopper4jk: My son wants to change his given Indian name, so I told Broken Condom he could change it if he really wants to. Kid's these days...