@ChaseMit: "We're not so different, you and I," Mitt Romney said to a stack of white printer paper.
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@wendyraepearce: My twitter crush just broke up with me for saying WWE wasn't real. The irony is not lost here.
@AnkCoupleTO: Me: *takes her shirt off & sees a padded bra* whoa Her: I'm so sorry, are you upset? M: *pulls a salami out of my shorts* let's call it even
@lisawhiteWHAT: My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?
@YeezyEducatedMe: [creates anti aging pill] Reporter: wow imagine all the human applications this can have *I scribble out 'give to puppies'* Yeah absolutely