@NoogsCorner: Were those thousands of turtle lives worth the life of one stupid, spoiled Princess with a strange fetish for Italian plumbers?
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@ObscureGent: Home Alone teaches us that a child can't pack a suitcase but can create a fully functional flame thrower to harm a small New Jersey man.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: How do you tell your spouse you were fired from SpaghettiOs for honoring Pearl Harbor Day with a smiling cartoon noodle holding a flag?
@DudeImShawn: Live today like it's your last. Pay your bills and wear a condom just in case it isn't.