@Darlainky: “We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” I say to the neighbor’s cute golden retriever after climbing the fence to pet him.
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@BoomBoomBetty: [Me, being lowered into my grave. Email still buzzing nonstop] Zillow: 7 new burial plots just listed in your area Target: 20% off all women’s death shrouds Amazon: It’s never too late to treat yourself from your wishlist
@Beerhaze: If you have streaks of purple, green or blue in your hair, I will try to eat that cotton candy off your head until you tell me to stop.
@DontFollowDave: Zelda is the name of the PRINCESS, the guy in green who saves her is named Luigi, idiots.