@kumailn: What a weird thing that a Presidential candidate is like "I tried to stab my friend" & his opponents are like "no you didn't."
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@murrman5: "when people say different color bell peppers taste different" [doctor nodding] I meant anything bothering you physically
@porters: In the very first line of the song, Pitbull claims he works very hard. He then rhymes "Kodak" with "Kodak."
@CornOnTheGoblin: We have to operate now if the cancer spreads anymore you won't be able to tell the difference between people & food "Are you nuts?" Dear God