@YesThatAmy: What did I do before Twitter? Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY?!?!
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@TheWoodenslurpy: Did you know that if you drop and break a piece of folk art, it just turns into more folk art?
@Humor_Fetish: There's a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking.
@LeonEarlgrey: I'm like that guy at the beginning of infomercials that is unable to do simple shit, i just burns everything and i cant figure out blankets.