@YesThatAmy: What did I do before Twitter? Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY?!?!
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@SexySpainNights: Dear neighbor who mows his yard early in the morning tomorrow, I found my bagpipes for tonight.
@Black__Elvis: I'm romantic so I treat my girlfriend to a candlelight dinner every night, plus she's getting fat and candlelight has like zero calories.