@MissBamantha: What do bats eat that makes their shit our standard for crazy?
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@DVSblast: I HAVE DECIDED TO MAKE A CONSCIOUS DECISION NOT TO HAVE MY MIND "BLOWN" ANYMORE. IF DINOSAURS COME BACK & I SEE ONE I'LL JUST BE LIKE "GOOD"
@kumailn: What a weird thing that a Presidential candidate is like "I tried to stab my friend" & his opponents are like "no you didn't."
@jonnysun: *christopre walken givig tour of apt* this is my.. walken closet. and these boots. these boots were made.. *long unecesary pause* for walken
@BobWhite1975: 8- Dad, why is there oxygen on earth, but not on any other planet? M- Are you sure you just don't want to know where baby's come from?