@MissBamantha: What do bats eat that makes their shit our standard for crazy?
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@notalogin: Actually, Kara, love is an illusion created by chemical reactions. The most powerful force in the world is the invisible hand of the market.
@TinaraMinus10: DON'T YOU LIKE ME! I WANNA MARRY YOU! WHY AM I IN THE TRUNK! -and other things I hear from guys on first dates
@JennyJohnsonHi5: Don't forget to celebrate Columbus Day by moving in to someone else's house and telling everyone it's yours, then closing the post office.
@kevinrowe1: At my age, a new driver's license doesn't have an Expires On date. It has a Renew If You Haven't Expired On date.