@meganamram: What do we want? A 2016 calendar! When do we want it? Late 2015!
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@dietredbull: it's gotta be as much fun for a slinky to go down an escalator as it is for a human to walk on a treadmill
@NickBossRoss: Are we sure that we're supposed to look for a human to settle down with? Cause I'm discovering I have much more in common with this blanket.
@SergioValenCo: I don't tweet about my boss because I don't wanna be a suspect when he disappears.
@liv_thatsme: I wish I had a black stallion, so any time I got really pissed, I could angrily ride along the ocean.