@meganamram: What do we want? A 2016 calendar! When do we want it? Late 2015!
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@TheToddWilliams: [boxing match] ANNOUNCER: ...and the challenger weighing 8lbs 7oz, Billy "The Baby" Sanchez CHAMP: That's a real baby TRAINER: You got this
@Mr_Kapowski: 90% of women that wear yoga pants probably don't do yoga. 100% of straight men don't care.
@Jake_Vig: No, no, no, you don't have to engage in a long explanation of why you're single. We've spent five minutes together, I think I've got it.