@ihuffpaint: what do you mean I never take you anywhere we just took a 365 day trip around the sun
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@robo_junkie: I want to get arrested by a motorcycle cop just so I can hold him tenderly around the waist on my way to jail.
@Boo_berries_: Kidnapper: Pay up or I'll leak your nudes Me: So what? K: Then I'll tweet your drafts M: Ok don't do anything crazy we can work this out
@iMikosnyc: This lady on the train has that raspy, cigarette, alcohol, at death's door kinda voice. I'ma see if she'll record my voice mail message.
@Sassafrantz: Sorry I unfriended you after seeing your Facebook "Year In Review" but it was bad enough the first time.