@ihuffpaint: what do you mean I never take you anywhere we just took a 365 day trip around the sun
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@TheToddWilliams: [Whole Foods] ME: Where are all the donuts? CASHIER: We uh...we don't sell donuts ME: Well what other hole foods are there?!
@TheAlexNevil: You can learn a lot from a woman wielding a knife. For example, your top running speed.
@CornOnTheGoblin: Hello 911? I was doing that thing where you pretend to walk down stairs behind a couch only it worked. I have no idea where I am. Help me.