@tchrquotes: What do you mean will I eat a whole rotisserie chicken? What do I look like, a guy who doesn't eat whole rotisserie chickens?
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@TheTweetOfGod: NEW YEAR'S LOGIC 1. The planet is passing through an arbitrary spot on its unceasing orbit around the sun. 2. Time to lay off chocolate.
@qwertying: Wife: What would you do if I died? Husband: I would go crazy Wife: Would you re-marry? Husband: Ah, not that crazy..
@MrSandeepP: I dont't want to die a virgin because that means I'll have to have sex with terrorists.
@shkeeber: I've been standing in IKEA with a lamp shade on my head for 3 days, hiding from the cops.