@weinerdog4life: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, except for bears, bears will kill you.
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@KimmyMonte: I think the first person to see a pug was like wait why is that sweet potato snorting?
@krishna_van: People accuse me of never giving a damn about anyone but myself, but I distinctly remember saying 'bless you' when someone sneezed last year
@TheAlexNevil: I put hydrogen peroxide on a cut to show 7 it doesn't MOTHER OF GOD WHAT IS THIS STUFF MADE FROM THE BLOOD OF PIRANHAS?! IT BURNS, IT BURNS!