@weinerdog4life: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, except for bears, bears will kill you.
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@Tommytoughstuff: "Come on man! I'm sure your superpower is cool! Show me! "Ok" *stares at two glasses of soda* the diet is on the right." "Wow um..neat..."
@Cpin42: A lot of parents are asking questions about my baby cannon. Like "Does it really fire babies?" & "Have you seen my son Jeff?"
@_davidlucas_: Me: How are you? Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*