@frickashley: what everyone's tl looks like now that we can retweet ourselves
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@chickenmclovin: New way to avoid pregnancy: Wear double condom with chilli powder in between. If outer breaks she will know, if inner breaks u will know.
@zachreinert03: A friend asked if I thought there was alien life on other planets and I was like don't give up hope, there's someone out there for you
@hythemafia: MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar. Very, very intelligent. Mittens, if you're reading this, please come home.......
@ericsshadow: When my 9 year old gets off the phone with his girlfriend, I'm going to ask him for some dating advice.