@ReeseButCallMeV: What genius named it a "news feed" on Facebook and not "bullshit"?!
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@dafloydsta: [therapy] ME: *in tears* So anyway, that's why I think she left me PERSON ON ELEVATOR: Please, I have a family
@djdarrellripley: You may be little now, but don't be discouraged. Someday, you'll be a man just like me. *baby starts crying*
@ch000ch: one time a kid at recess said i couldnt actually dig a hole to china, i said "Watch me" then walked away. i avoided him the rest of the year
@ilovepie84: Somebody should tell Forrest Gump that on the back of the box of chocolates it tells you exactly what you're going to get.