@ReeseButCallMeV: What genius named it a "news feed" on Facebook and not "bullshit"?!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@bourgeoisalien: The number one cause of depression in people over 30 is hearing co-workers resentfully sing, "Happy Birthday" just to get cake.
@pinupteacher: Teachers at school: She seems to be expressing an inner need for control. Teachers at a bar: I want to punch that kid in the face.
@_correctomundo: I'll call it smartphone when it slaps me in the face before sending a text to an ex.
@NurseSeymour: Hooking up with your ex is a great way to reassure yourself that dying alone wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.