@VodkaThursday: What I learned from watching Star Trek: Nothing. I've never watched Star Trek. I am popular with friends. We don't do that.
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@Fingers_of_Fury: Someone tweets "pizza," I want pizza. Someone tweets "donut," I want a donut. Someone tweets "kale," I want pizza and a donut.
@NoticablyBacon: December 26th is the sad day where I have to take the Christmas tree behind the garage and shoot it
@TheFactsBook: According to U.S. FDA standards, 1 cup of orange juice is allowed to contain 10 fruit fly eggs, but only 2 maggots.