@VodkaThursday: What I learned from watching Star Trek: Nothing. I've never watched Star Trek. I am popular with friends. We don't do that.
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@Cheese_Pile: *Sees girl trying to reach soup on top shelf* "Here let me get that" I say [Beacuse I'm much taller] *I put the soup in my cart & walk away*
@GrumpyBahr: North Carolina just legalized same sex marriage. I thought all sex was the same after marriage.
@kentgrossarth: Vegetarian: 'You know, a cow died so you could have that burger'. Me: 'Maybe he died because you keep eating all of his food'.
@kelkulus: For Earth Day, turn on your air conditioner and open your doors and windows. If we all work together, we can totally cool this planet.