@JhonRules: how to get into shape: 1. punch a bear 2. run. this is your life now

@MummaCrazy: *Runs a bath Me: ok, jump in 3: it's too hot *Adds cold water Me: Ok, get in 3: it's too cold Apparently I gave birth to Goldilocks.

@DomesticGoddss: Accidentally drove to work w/the kids still in the car & they waited until I parked to cheer that they weren't going to school. Mon-1 Mom-0

@BillMc7: Seems like Hello Kitty should be a brand of condoms.

@Dawn_M_: My online boyfriend loves me so much that once I put my money in his PayPal account he is coming to visit me.