@MRagaab: What I say: I'm on a diet. What my mom hears: please cook delicious food and buy chocolate.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_correctomundo: Nephew: What's love? Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!
@ThaJawn: David Attenborough: She looked lovely as she sat down to dine Her: Are you narrating this date? David: It was the only thing he knew to do
@Underchilde: Success is measured by how long it takes your boss to notice you’re not at your desk.