@MRagaab: What I say: I'm on a diet. What my mom hears: please cook delicious food and buy chocolate.
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@tehaveragejoel: things I'm passionate about: The Rule of Threes, self referential humor, and the Oxford comma.
@Kyle_Lippert: If you feed your kitten Muscle Milk it will become a tiger in as little as 90 days or you get your money back.
@Smug_Lemur: Maybe my grandma stayed married for 50 yrs because she never said stuff like "I just wish he would support me, you know, creatively."
@DillDoes: [god inventing animals] okay here's a new one. It's an umbrella "okay" made out of jello "alright" and it electrocutes things "you're drunk"