@pixelatedboat: What I would do if I had a falcon
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@DannyZuker: Bet they weed out lots of people at big city detective school in the jump off building/land on roof of another building class.
@WheelTod: If you spotted a white guy with headphones throwing gang signs on the subway today, that was just me listening to the soundtrack of Frozen
@sixfootcandy: Insurance company: We need you to fax us the paperwork. Me: Sure. Let me jump in my DeLorean and drive back to 1987.
@Scdavis24: I emailed my ex-girlfriend "Are you still alive" and she emailed back "No" which made me sad but also excited that they have email in hell.