@StevieKnip: What idiot called him Steve Jobs instead of Mac Daddy
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@Sarcasticsapien: So many people are worried that The Walking Dead could happen and I'm over here terrified that Idiocracy is actually happening.
@mattZillaaaa: I just sent a screen shot of my drunken tweets to my friends & they are still asking if I can come pick them up
@ArfMeasures: BOSS: Wow you made a killing on your first day ME: Thanks boss! BOSS: *puts hand on my shoulder* that's bad for a surgeon
@QwertyJones3: Marathon runner: I think we're lost. Why does that sign say Grand Canyon? Are you sure this is the right way? Lemming: Just trust me, ok?