@daemonic3: What idiot called it "insomnia" and not "resisting a rest"?
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@squirrel74wkgn: *cuts down perfect Xmas tree* Me: What do you think kids? Kids: Yay!!!!! Wife: It’s beautiful Neighbor: ...what are you guys doing in my yard?
@_ElvishPresley_: Bat 1: Do you ever think God made us blind so that we may see the world for what it truly is? Bat 2: (startled) who said that
@Bacon_Ball: You can tell a lot by the way a woman walks. Like if she walks away, she's probably not into you.