@Vodkantots: What idiot called it "the clap" and not "dishonorable discharge?"
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@awkwardphilippe: That awkward moment when your date says she has a hair piece but later you find out she was saying herpes.
@MafiaJoker78: New neighbours just moved in... I baked them some goodies as a welcome & a warning to never eat at my house.
@TheTweetOfGod: 'Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the mall There were multiple reports of trampling injuries.