@Vodkantots: What idiot called it "the clap" and not "dishonorable discharge?"
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@slimmy_shady: Breaking news!? Shark sighting off Daytona shores. It's the ocean! That's where they live. I saw a bird in the sky. Report that too!
@LoriLuvsShoes: My husband says I talk in my sleep but I don't believe him because nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
@abbycohenwl: I never thought I'd meet the man of my dreams while I was out running errands in sweat pants with no make-up on. And I was right