@Vodkantots: What idiot called it "the clap" and not "dishonorable discharge?"
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@topaz_kell: [talking to myself in the mirror] "You will not be awkward today." Person: "Hey" Me: "Good. How are you?"
@LoveNLunchmeat: Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
@tarashoe: how bout i spell YOUR name wrong, Stahrbux. hm? how bout i pronounce it wrong, too, huh? you like that? how's that feel, Stlerbecks?
@Matt_The_1st: "Dad, these glasses make everything look much bigger!" *Snatches glass and hands to my wife