@SamGrittner: what idiot called it the sun instead of a space heater?
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@david8hughes: [mattress store] Me: bet u get a lot of losers asking which ones are piss proof huh Clerk: not really Me: what would u recommend to them tho
@XplodingUnicorn: Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home? Me: I don't even think about work at work.
@RatchetAfrican: If you're sad about being alone on Valentine's Day, just remember.. Nobody loves you on the other days of the year either.
@KevinFarzad: College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.