@8bitf0x: what idiot called them crabs instead of sidewalks
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@smilely_gal: With my pasty white skin, ample curves, & hatred of manual labor, I would have dominated the 16th century.
@causticbob: My boss is coming to my grandad's funeral tomorrow. He said, after his 3 previous funerals he personally wants to see him go in the ground
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Netflix: Are you still watching? Me: Yes. Netflix: How long has it been since you showered?
@shipwrecksean: I'm looking for something with the health benefits of yoga but absolutely none of the yoga