@OhNoSheTwitnt: What idiot decided to call them koalas instead of awww-stralians?
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@Playing_Dad: Body: *sharp abdominal pain* Me: Oh, God. Is that cancer? I bet it's cancer. Body: Are you gonna go to the doctor? If you're worried it's cancer let's go get it checked out. Me: No, I'm good.
@Extranaut: Indians will wait 25 years to have sex but not 25 seconds for the traffic signal to turn green.
@MavenofHonor: *grabs your ankle from a storm sewer* if your barbie doll needs a hula hoop use an onion ring