@OhNoSheTwitnt: What idiot decided to call them koalas instead of awww-stralians?
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@UncleDuke1969: *takes coffee from hot barista *makes eye contact *smiles *winks *sips scalding coffee "Thankth, thexy! Theeya!" *walks outside *screams
@KenJennings: Steal your neighbors' garden gnome. Send them a series of photos of the gnome lurking near various truck stop men's rooms.
@truegritrumble: "How many dead bodies do I have to leave on the porch before they acknowledge me?" -Cats