@OhNoSheTwitnt: What idiot decided to call them koalas instead of awww-stralians?
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@QwertyJones3: Doctor: "Just lie back and relax, I'll start the lasik eye procedure in a moment." *Turns on laser* *Patient's face is attacked by cats*
@UncleDuke1969: "Wow, it's pouring out there." "Just let a smile be your umbrella!" "That's not how rain works, Karen."
@Tommytoughstuff: *Looks around nervously* The steam from my pasta is ungluing my chest hair toupee and the other mafia bosses are taking notice.
@natedog2049: What is this alien looking thing in a wig trying to sing? Oh wait thats Nicki Minaj. Why would an alien in a wig pick Nicki Minaj as a name?