@tnylgn: What idiot named it a mugshot instead of a cellfie?
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@Mindless4Miles: DJ: "MARRIED PEOPLE IN THE CLUB TONIGHT MAKE SOME NOOOIISE!" *Groans* *Sobs* *sighs* *a solitary gunshot*
@moooooog35: Mechanic: Your car won't pass inspection Me: Here's $20 to look the other way Mechanic [looking other way]: Your car won't pass inspection
@Emperor_Laykes: One advantage of being a woman is no one can surprise you with a kid years later and tell you you're the mom.