@tnylgn: What idiot named it a mugshot instead of a cellfie?
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@murrman5: Look, you invented bread and I invented knives. Let's combine forces and we could be the best thing since...well we'll think of that later.
@cepheusjackson: WIFE: How's the ventriloquism going? ME: Not good. WIFE: But I got you that Ventriloquism For Dummies book. ME: I don't think he read it.
@bourgeoisalien: Thanks for telling me I'm really funny 'for a girl.' You're really stupid for a human.