@CatsForDinnerz: What idiot named them twins instead of wombmates?
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@Jamie1947: A video montage of all the times my foot, still wet from the shower, has clung to my underwear as I pull them on, and I've lost my balance.
@PaperWash: [Signing waiver for the show Cops] No no, you don't have to blur my face but how about a sweet mustache?
@vanderheydensax: "Well, you only live once." - Guy, convincing himself to skydive "Well, you only live once." - Me, convincing myself not to skydive
@jwoodham: If I was a Quidditch player I'd be the Seeker, because I'm really, really good at doing basically nothing until the very end of something.