@SortaBad: Manny Pacquiao says he would accept a rematch with Floyd Mayweather. "Yes, I will allow you to pay me another $100 million," he told sources
@Dutch_50: Instructions in the Men's Room for hand washing. Because non-hand washers can't be bothered unless there's an opportunity to learn stuff.
@yenniwhite: As a kid, I always wondered why my mom never wore the macaroni necklace I made her to work. And now I'm a mom and I'm like, Oh. OK.
@blade_funner: Officer: I'll need to see a photo ID.
Me: (pulling out a selfie at an R.E.M. concert) That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight.
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