@dwaghalter: "What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?" - my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome
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@inojperez: "It's our third date and you still wear that shirt?" Honey, this all they have in prison.
@LMHPhotog: *bursts into room Me: GUYS! GUYS! I FOUND A UNICORN Guys: Yeah sure,show us then! *holds up single kernel of corn *gets violently beaten
@OneTrickTofani: "GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL" "Sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse" "Oh rad bring it in"
@AntozWolf: Its wrong that priests have to live a life of forced celibacy . They should get married and let celibacy come upon them the usual way.