@TheBoydP: If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazine for the articles?

@noxxhell: A homeless guy by the Gas station just proposed to me,it's a little short notice but I'm not getting any younger am I?

@chuuew: HER: OMG Thats not going to fit HIM: Just relax. I'll go slow HER: If you're sure... HIM: [severely damages surrounding cars while parking]

@weirdralph: The next time someone says "expect the unexpected," I'm going to punch them in the nose and ask if they expected that.

@Scott_A_Gilmore: Why repent? I pented just last week.