@dwaghalter: "What if a third team came and attacked these two teams?" - my daughter, not understanding football/making football more awesome
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@SortaBad: Manny Pacquiao says he would accept a rematch with Floyd Mayweather. "Yes, I will allow you to pay me another $100 million," he told sources
@Dutch_50: Instructions in the Men's Room for hand washing. Because non-hand washers can't be bothered unless there's an opportunity to learn stuff.
@yenniwhite: As a kid, I always wondered why my mom never wore the macaroni necklace I made her to work. And now I'm a mom and I'm like, Oh. OK.