@Mike_Bianchi: What if Adele was calling from inside the house?!
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@WiseguyPictures: The worst time to find out your parents are dead is probably right after you've taken a large hit from helium balloon.
@stephenjmolloy: Me: Got my finger stuck in this beer bottle. Wife: How?! M: Just help me. W: Have you tried butter? M: It's delicious. Now will you help me?
@internetluke: "STOP IT STOP IT. CUT. THIS IS ALL WRONG" I scream at my cats dressed like vampires. "This is NOTHING like Twilight!!"