@agathagotstoned: What if cats are born with names & the fact that we call them names that aren't those names is the reason they act irrationally towards us?
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@_davidlucas_: In 2000 years, people will celebrate all this with chocolate eggs delivered by an imaginary rabbit. ~Time travelling me, to Pontius Pilate.
@orange_rhymer: Cashier: how old r u? Me:*holding beer nervously* uuh 21 Cashier:*shaking his head sadly as he pulls Trix out of my cart* Trix are for kids.
@PeachyPixel8: Coming Soon Jason Statham is a reluctant thief with a heart of gold *cue explosion* PUNCH McEXPLODEY CAR MAN *fade to black*
@alli_win: I'm convinced that Santa is so jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.