@BoogTweets: What if deer stare at our headlights because they’re trying to use the force to stop the car and when one actually stops their deer squad is in the woods watching and just losing their minds over it
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@RorynotRoy: Spent all last night mouthing words to my dog to try and convince him that he'd gone deaf.
@ThisOneSayz: Me: An icicle is the perfect murder weapon. It just melts!! He: I asked about the perfect date.
@PoliticallyILL1: I'm sick of closing out every job interview with "I was young. I needed the money."
@jenstatsky: Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps or does it just feel like he's at work
@PhoenixRises69: I've removed swim with dolphins from my bucket list. Mainly cos I can't swim and drowning with dolphins doesn't have quite the same appeal.
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