@BoogTweets: What if deer stare at our headlights because they’re trying to use the force to stop the car and when one actually stops their deer squad is in the woods watching and just losing their minds over it
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@BrdnHatesYou: *beats arachnophobia* *trips over child dressed as Spider-Man* *fears spiders again*
@Staggfilms: Used to be free to fill my tires up at the gas station, but now it’s ¢75. Guess that’s the cost of inflation.
@westcoastgurl: Don't think of me as 40. Think of me as two 20 yr olds.
@FeelingMervis: DATING TIP: You never want to seem too easy! So set up a date and never show up.
@cool_as_heck: Me: smells like upyou'refreetogo in here. Cop: what's upyou'refreetogo? Me: *finger guns* catch ya later Cop: aww damn lol got me again
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