@NikkiGlaser: What if ISIS started claiming responsibility for nice things like when my mom says, "who emptied the dishwasher?!"
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Thynebear: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: In a mirror probably unless new technology exists. [interviewer thinking] holy smokes he's good
@WeissBrandon: Cop: FREEZE, DON'T MOVE!!! Me: *stops moving* Cop: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND Me:... Cop: NOW! Me:... Me:... Cop: for the love of god...unfreeze
@FinnMcIver: our teacher used to make us do 100 lines if we'd been naughty. my nose was wrecked at the end of it
@katiefzack: People just said "go to the gym" they never mentioned that you have to actually do things when you get there I've been doing this so wrong.