@batkaren: What if life on Earth is just a video game for gods, and my guy has the crappy controller?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@onion_an: [knock on door] Who is it? "Jeff" Jeff from work or Jeff who lies about his identity? "Jeff from work" [opens door] "Sucker"
@pintofdraft: I'm quitting the blueberry only diet. I haven't lost a pound and I'm getting tired of blueberry pancakes, muffins and poptarts every meal.
@Ygrene: [Being murdered] (with every stab, i move my body so that the murderer strikes acupuncture points which, to his dismay, makes me feel great)