@GianDoh: I wish radical Islamists were just Muslims who were really into surfing.

@thereverendcink: If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.

@Muaythaigirlie: Had a date planned for tonight but he got electrocuted at work. I'm serious The things men do to avoid hanging out with me is amazing.

@MomOnFire: Newsflash KIDS: The woman who paid for the fries gets to "steal" as many as she wants.

@stockejock: I just danced like no Juan was watching, but he totally was and he cut off the tequila then threw me out of his restaurant you guys.