@davedittell: what if Spider Man has to stop a crime in the countryside
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@SamuelHLowe: If you're ever on death row, request Denny's for your last meal so you can live an extra year waiting on your order.
@envydatropic: There's something mentally wrong with people who ask other parents if their baby isn't the cutest baby they've ever seen
@jazmasta: [making small talk at a business function] "You're 35 aren't you?" "No, I'm 38" "Oh right" [long silence] "Did you used to be 35?"