@SoFarFetchd: What if the weather talks about us?
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@_wangwe: Superman's first day at the daily planet. Boss: Since you're new, you might need supervision. Clark: I have that, superhearing too.
@wesleybordelon: Hey guys, what's the name of that movie where Michael Cera plays a socially awkward teenager?
@TheTweetOfGod: Stuck in church. Everyone’s singing “What a Friend We Have in Jesus”. Damn, My son has some stupid friends.
@kimlockhartga: Oh, you think it's "awkward" going to a wedding by yourself? Try going when you've dated both the bride & groom.