@JohnLyonTweets: "What if you fell down a mountainside but on purpose?" -the invention of skiing
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@junejuly12: The way my dog tries to sneak a bit of grass when I’m not looking, you’d think it was weed.
@Prero22: A cheetah stalking its prey would be jealous of the way I pounce on the Skip Ad button on YT once the 5 seconds are up.
@HatfieldAnne: “As the crow flies” means something entirely different when it's “in your living room” and you are “hiding in the closet with your cat.”
@Los01001111: *goes to Australia *sees hot girl *asks if she wants to be my first mate *winks forever *gets punched down under