@SMLXist: What in all holy hell is going on with this box of toilet paper I just got from Amazon
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@brianbowman73: Saw someone simultaneously walking while writing on a pad of paper. I yelled at them to text and drive like a normal person.
@Jenny4ashley: I haven't been around a baby in so long I can't even remember how to put their leash on.
@AaronFullerton: Always amazed when I see people slip guns into the back of their pants. How is that comfortable? How do you not get a weapon wedgie?
@WheelTod: Jesus' Greatest Miracles: 3) Turning water to wine 2) Raising Lazarus 1) Maintaining a milky-white complexion in a desert climate for 33 yrs