@aparnapkin: What is it like to be a woman in comedy? I would say it's 1% jokes & 99% answering this question.
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@NateMorrising: For sale: Golden Retriever, had for 9 months, has yet to retrieve gold. Should have bought a metal detector.
@juneohara65: I'm just a girl. Standing in front of a girl. Wondering how she got her eyeliner on so perfectly.
@VerifiedDrunk: Twitter handles are what would happen if the DMV let everyone put whatever they wanted on their license plates.