@walks_on_legs: What is this special type of waffle called a "Tennis racket" and why does it taste like metal wires?
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@daemonic3: Son? "Yes dad?" If they ever put me on my death bed... I want you to... "Yes?" Tell those idiots to put me on a life bed instead wtf
@ItsAndyRyan: First date Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm currently trying to eliminate all cancers Her: Wow, impressive Him: Then I'll move on to Virgos
@Ms_WhateverV: Kids wont go to sleep so I'm playing hide&seek. And now they'll never find me, because they aren't old enough to drive or get into this bar.