@Molly_Kats: What kind of emotional tailspin causes people to "like" Lysol on Facebook?
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@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Why do you want to be a librarian?" I like people "What do you like about them?" *whispers* I like telling them to shut up
@myonlymizztake: My date didn't go as planned and now I don't know what to do with this kiddie pool full of nacho cheese.
@cwhudson: [dog walking a human] *walks by a coffeeshop with its door open* HUMAN: *tries to sprint in* COFFEE DOG: woah boy *pulls leash* easy there
@Dr_awfulpants: [Spelling Bee] -Your word is phlegm -Can you use it in a sentence? *loudly clears throat for 5 minutes*