@MariyaAlexander: What kind of outfit says "I want you to let me stand in your group so I don't look like a loser but I don't want to talk to any of you"?
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@0point5twins: My ex left because I "lack imagination". "Yeah? Well you lack imagination!", I shouted after her.
@BlindChow: Cop: Freeze! Suspect: Try and catch me! *dives into Olive Garden's bottomless pasta bowl* Rookie: We gotta go after him! Cop: No. He's gone.
@SortaBad: The most unbelievable part of any Christmas movie is that characters my age are homeowners