@rcromwell4: What percentage of the zombies are just chasing you down to tell you they're vegan?
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@INDlAN_: HER: let’s be open about how we really feel. I’ll go first I love you. ME: Ok well... I really, really, don’t want Naruto to end HER: wtf?
@TheSharona06: Me: My tarot cards say that you're going to be in pain soon. Him: Ha! My Magic 8 Ball said No. *hurls Magic 8 Ball at him* Him: Ouch!
@lucidchemistry: [in bed] her: u have done this before, right? me: yes, of course. measure twice, cut once her: what? me: what?